Your girlfriend left you and it’s your fault. As pathetic as you feel now, stop. There is a chance that you can win her over again. However, in order to do that, you need to think about what you did. For every mistake, there is a solution. It’s going to be hard, but if she is worth the work read on.
You cheated on her
This is probably one of the worst things you could have done. By cheating on her, you lost her trust. Trust is earned over time. It builds up slowly and with one action, it can crumble. It can be built again, but it will take time. First of all, you have to think this through. Was it a one-time thing, or do you wander often? If the latter is true, this may mean you are not as interested in her as you think and it may be time to move one. If on the other hand, it was a horrible one-time mistake, then you need to apologize.
You need to be 100% honest. Because the trust you have created together is broken, you cannot afford to lie to her even slightly. Anything she asks, you have to tell the truth. It’s going to be hard, probably the hardest thing you will do for your relationship. She may insult you, hurt you, probably shout and definitely cry. You need to get through all of that with her if you stand a chance. Hold her when she cries, listen when she shouts. You have to understand that you made a mistake and she needs to feel that you feel the consequences. She will also be suspicious of everything, so cut some losses. She doesn’t like some of your female friends, end those relationships. Doesn’t like certain bars, stop frequenting them. In time, the trust will be built up again.
You gave her everything
Although this may seem like the right thing to do, it’s not. If you view your relationship as a child, you spoiled that child. Now, she no longer wants to be a part of that. The reason why women, and men, respond badly to always getting everything is simple. First of all, it’s boring. Never fighting for anything means that you never get to win. Another reason is that being complimented all the time, receiving gifts often, getting everything, it all loses its charm quickly. Suddenly everything feels fake. Like a routine. You need to prove that you are an independent man. You want her, but don’t need her. This means, stop calling her. Anything pathetic is off limits to you. Give her some time to breathe. Then meet her and be honest. Don’t cry. Don’t be emotional in any way. Just tell her how you feel in a matter of fact way. Then wait. Do not call her again. She will test you to see if you are still at her every beck and call. Don’t answer every call. Prove that you have other things to do. In the meantime, find other things to do. Get a hobby, find a good book to read, go out with friends. She fell in love with you when you were your own man. To get her back you need to get you back first.
This is one of the rare occasions when a man should show a lot of emotion. You lost her because you never gave her compliments, never showed her warmth. To get her back you need to turn that up. You need to be romantic, kind, and considerate. Start with just being friends. Get to know her without sex. As always, be honest. Open up to her. Tell her about your emotions and dreams. This may be hard for you; otherwise you would not be having this problem. She will appreciate the effort you are putting in your relationship. Tell her that you love her, and what she means to you. Because you were cold, she understood that you have no feelings for her. Now, you need to convince her that the opposite is true. Once you do get her back, don’t go cold again. Say a kind word here and there. Tell her you love her from time to time. I understand that you think actions matter more than words, but she needs the words as well.
Whatever you did, remember that she fell in love with you once. She probably still loves you. Chances are that she thinks it is in her best interest to distance herself from you. It is up to you to prove her wrong. A different strategy is necessary for a different problem. Each one is tough to do, so make sure you really want to be with this woman first. If think she is worth the fight, go win her back.