The Problems with Winning Back an Ex

Many men that have tried to win back an ex-girlfriend have found it much harder than they expected, so hard in fact that it would often have been far easier to just find a new girlfriend.

However, there are times when no other girl can completely replace the ex and so you have to try and win that ex back.

Your first thought may be to beg her to come back to you but for most of those that have tried that approach, it has proven to be fruitless as, seeing a man beg makes a girl lose respect for that man and that loss of respect is not good to start a renewed relationship on.

You next thought may be to threaten to do something to yourself if she doesn’t return as you cannot live without her.

Although this approach may have worked in a couple of instances, it only worked because the girl was afraid of what you may do and that again, is not a basis to start a new relationship on.

Finally you may decide to remind the girl of some of the past happy experiences you have shared but studies have shown that this too does not work as you would have expected it to.

Apparently, not only does bringing up the past remind the girl of the good times you had but it also reminds her of the reasons why the relationship did not work the first time and places doubt in her mind that it can be better a second time around.

In deciding to win back an ex, you must have already decided that it is worth doing and will have tried to establish the reason why it did not work the first time.

If it is you that had to change in some way then you will have to show her, not just tell her, that you can and have changed in some way and that you are prepared to change some more if it means maintaining the relationship.

Many times the reason for a split is that the girl does not find the man to be taking the relationship serious enough but there are also instances where the girl thinks that the man is trying too hard and so be sure you know which of these problems you have and be ready to change.

When trying to convince to come back, you should talk of the future and what you can achieve together instead of dwelling on the past where there obviously had been mistakes made.

If you think it is more romance she wants, consider suggesting a weekend escape to romantic countryside retreat or to the sea where you can walk alone on a beach under the stars. You can of course start though with a nice romantic candlelit dinner and progress from there.

This could be especially effective if it something that you would not have thought to do before, as it shows her you can change and are prepared to.

If things aren’t going to work out, and you have to accept that point; then perhaps it is best to move on.

If this situation arises then there are options available to you to help you find love. I found a lot of great dating services near me.


Winning Your Ex-girlfriend Back, Sorry is the Hardest Word

Your girlfriend or wife has left you and it’s your fault. As pathetic as you feel now, stop. There is a chance that you can win her over again. However, in order to do that, you need to think about what you did. For every mistake, there is a solution. It’s going to be hard, but if she is worth the work read on.

You cheated on her

This is probably one of the worst things you could have done. By cheating on her, you lost her trust. Trust is earned over time. It builds up slowly and with one action, it can crumble. It can be built again, but it will take time. First of all, you have to think this through. Was it a one-time thing, or do you wander often? If the latter is true, this may mean you are not as interested in her as you think and it may be time to move one. If on the other hand, it was a horrible one-time mistake, then you need to apologize.

You need to be 100% honest. Because the trust you have created together is broken, you cannot afford to lie to her even slightly. Anything she asks, you have to tell the truth. It’s going to be hard, probably the hardest thing you will do for your relationship. She may insult you, hurt you, probably shout and definitely cry. You need to get through all of that with her if you stand a chance. Hold her when she cries, listen when she shouts. You have to understand that you made a mistake and she needs to feel that you feel the consequences. She will also be suspicious of everything, so cut some losses. She doesn’t like some of your female friends, end those relationships. Doesn’t like certain bars, stop frequenting them. In time, the trust will be built up again.

You gave her everything

Although this may seem like the right thing to do, it’s not. If you view your relationship as a child, you spoiled that child. Now, she no longer wants to be a part of that. The reason why women, and men, respond badly to always getting everything is simple. First of all, it’s boring. Never fighting for anything means that you never get to win. Another reason is that being complimented all the time, receiving gifts often, getting everything, it all loses its charm quickly. Suddenly everything feels fake. Like a routine. You need to prove that you are an independent man. You want her, but don’t need her. This means, stop calling her. Anything pathetic is off limits to you. Give her some time to breathe. Then meet her and be honest. Don’t cry. Don’t be emotional in any way. Just tell her how you feel in a matter of fact way. Then wait. Do not call her again. She will test you to see if you are still at her every beck and call. Don’t answer every call. Prove that you have other things to do. In the meantime, find other things to do. Get a hobby, find a good book to read, go out with friends. She fell in love with you when you were your own man. To get her back you need to get you back first.

Too cold

This is one of the rare occasions when a man should show a lot of emotion. You lost her because you never gave her compliments, never showed her warmth. To get her back you need to turn that up. You need to be romantic, kind, and considerate. Start with just being friends. Get to know her without sex. As always, be honest. Open up to her. Tell her about your emotions and dreams. This may be hard for you; otherwise you would not be having this problem. She will appreciate the effort you are putting in your relationship. Tell her that you love her, and what she means to you. Because you were cold, she understood that you have no feelings for her. Now, you need to convince her that the opposite is true. Once you do get her back, don’t go cold again. Say a kind word here and there. Tell her you love her from time to time. I understand that you think actions matter more than words, but she needs the words as well.

Whatever you did, remember that she fell in love with you once. She probably still loves you. Chances are that she thinks it is in her best interest to distance herself from you. It is up to you to prove her wrong. A different strategy is necessary for a different problem. Each one is tough to do, so make sure you really want to be with this woman first. If think she is worth the fight, go win her back.

Marriage Counselling

The information above does help you distinguish your relationship needs. However if you require marriage counselling then you may need to seek an expert. To find sources of support near you could type in marriage counselling service near me into a search engine.

These are trained individuals who can offer a great deal more help than any article or blog could. If your marriage is worth saving then you owe it to yourself to seek the support you need.

Winning an Ex-Girlfriend Back: Take Care of Yourself

When your girlfriend and you decide to call it quits, it can be a traumatic time in your life. Sometimes you do not know which way to turn. And if she called off the relationship, your heart may be aching tremendously. If you want to heal and to get her back into your life, you might want to take care of yourself and re-assess your goals. You may find you are happier and that she comes back into your life with a new excitement.


Take Care of Yourself


Take a look at yourself in the mirror. Are you over weight, have you let yourself go in the comfort to of the relationship? When was the last time you went to a spa and pampered yourself? Many times, when we are deep into a commitment, we let ourselves go. If this is the case, you might want to do some of the following things in an effort to freshen up and feel better with confidence:


  • Go through your wardrobe and toss the worn out clothes.
  • Make sure to pay attention to your shoes. There is an old saying that says a man’s shoes say a lot about who the man is. Are the heels worn down, or there scuff marks, and are they out of date?
  • Now go look at your underwear and pajama drawer for an assessment. Throw out any items that are torn or stained.
  • Next, get on the scales and see if you have gained weigh. If so, get out your rusty bike and polish it up. You need to be healthy and take care of yourself.
  • Open the refrigerator and see what items are in there. Is there a lot of beer, but not too many fruits and vegetables?
  • Pull the gym membership card out of your wallet, and head down for some exercise immediately.
  • Next, get a new hairstyle and a new lease on life.


These tasks are not just superficial. When you are dressed nice and you are healthy and weight the right amount, you exude an air of confidence. If your ex-girlfriend is still circulating in your circle, she will notice how you are taking care of yourself. There may be some stirrings of those old romantic feelings. Go one step further, and ask her to join you at Saturday yoga class.


Re-assess your Goals


Did you stop taking the night class while you were dating, so you could spend more time with your girl, even though you enjoyed the class? Did you change your career goals or moved jobs because your work didn’t fit with her schedule? While you may have thought you were being accommodating, what you were doing was changing the person you were when she first met you. Make sure that as you look at your goals, that you re-affirm that you are going to the direction you want, not in the direction the wind is blowing. If she fell in love with you the first time, when you knew your goals, then maybe she will notice you again.

Don’t Beg Your Ex to Come Back

There is probably a time in every man’s life when they wish they could get back one of their old girl friends but, begging is not the answer.

Of course you want her back and apologizing for anything you may have done or even apologizing for something she just thinks you have done is fine, just don’t beg. Begging may produce results but more often than not, relationships that have gotten back together because of begging, do not last.

When you beg, the girl feels sorry for you and so may give in to her immediate emotions but after time, the thought of you begging will lower her respect for you and the romance will come to a sad end.

Let’s face it, if you want an old girlfriend back, you should have thought hard about it and decided that she is the one for you and so if you are successful in winning her back, you will probably want it to be for the long term. For that same reason, neither should you make threats in order to get her back, things like I cannot go on living without you.

Once again the girl may get back with you but it will only be because of sympathy and no real long term feelings. Once her sympathy starts to wear off, the romance will once again be gone.
So much for what not to do to get an ex-girlfriend back, now let’s move on to what you can do to actually get her back and hopefully get her back for good. If you had been doing something wrong which caused the split, don’t try and tell you have changed; find a way to prove it.

You should not dwell on the past mentioning the good times that you had, although there may have been some, there were probably bad times too and so bringing up the past may not have the desired result you planned for. Instead, keep mentioning the future and all the good things that the two of you could do together.

Perhaps try and entice her with a romantic dinner or even better a romantic weekend away together. Hopefully the more you talk about the future the less she will remember about the bad times in your past and start to look forward to spending time with you.

If she had done something to cause you to break up with her, then of course you have to forgive her and let her know that you forgive her. Remember, it is you that want her back and so before you could want that, you must have already have forgiven her in your heart.

Some people say that everything is for a reason and so look deep in your heart and be sure that you really want your ex back. If you do, do all you must to succeed except of course beg or make threats. Having won her back, remember any mistakes you may have made in the past and avoid them in the future.

How to Win Back your Ex

Most of us at some time have wished we could win back one of our ex-girlfriends but perhaps went about it in the wrong way. Here is some advice you may want to heed if you are faced with the same problem again.

Many men believe that asking their ex to share a romantic meal with them will do the trick. Sometimes though the feelings are so deep that just one meal may not seal the deal and so greater offers are needed.

One way to perhaps be more enticing is to offer to take her on a romantic weekend away from the stress and worries, where the two of you can spend some real together time and work out your problems at a leisurely pace.

Regardless of where you live in the country, there is going to be somewhere near that can offer the romantic getaway you need to resolve your problems. Here are a few suggestions.

Blackpool -Many people first fall in love on a visit to Blackpool and so why not fall back in love there? Book a hotel or B and B for the weekend and spend time walking along the beach hand in hand. You can still enjoy a romantic dinner for two but have the option instead, to take high tea in the Blackpool Tower ballroom.

Yorkshire- Perhaps surround yourselves in luxury at the 5 star Cedar Court Grand Hotel & Spa in York, booking a penthouse. By doing this you will be able to relax and get romantic in sumptuous settings and can forget about everything else except yourselves as a butler is included with the booking.

Buckinghamshire- Danesfield House Hotel is located just outside of Marlow on Thames with its manicured grounds is ideal for a romantic escape. Between afternoon tea and a Pimms on the terrace, you may like to make use of the ozone cleaned pool, the steam room, sauna, Jacuzzi or even the gym.

Of course though if it just a little inspiration you need, you may want to take her to Keats house in Hampstead. It is here where Keats wrote his love letters to Fanny Brawne and poems like Ode to a Nightingale. Most of his works are displayed in the house and if that doesn’t get someone interested in romance then little else will.

Of course though first you have to get her to agree to go somewhere with you and often that is the hard part. What you should not do though is beg. Although begging may get her to agree to meeting with you, it will also disappoint her in the long term and end the chances of you securing a long term romance with her.

If you were perhaps the cause of the break up, it will not be enough to tell you have changed, you will have to find a way to show her you have changed. This may seem a lot of trouble and effort but if you really want her back, it will be worth it.